Tired of having disappointment

I think I'm a tad over-analytical/emotional/judgemental today. It's probly due to some hormones flying around in my body. But ever since I got off work today, I've not been a happy camper. I'm not mad, just not happy. Not sure if it's anyone's fault but my own.

I ran some errands after work - Costco, market, usual stuff. I felt so old pushing a cart through the aisles of Costco. Luckily, I was reminded that i'm not too old because I'm not at the age to buy a lot of the stuff in there...Mainly because I don't have a house to furnish (they have a ton of garden stuff there now), nor do I have a need for all their fun geeky electronics (again, things I have now are just fine), and no need for all the crazy vitamins, elixirs, meds, diapers (for babies....well, I guess grown-ups too? lol). My cart was pathetic - shampoo, conditioner, a movie, toilet paper, and some peanuts for J.

There were quite a bit of families, but also people shopping for their businesses. I always think about when I'll be those people and some young girl will be toting around her small cart with just a few items because her salary/checking account isn't too big.

When I got home, I hurried to put the things away, empty out the fridge, put all the toilet paper away (I think there's like 30 or something rolls!) and J is like "just sit down, eat, relax.". Um, this is when the judgemental stuff comes in. Immediately I start saying (in my head of course)

Easy for you to say. You came home and all you did was eat and play your guitar. I have things to do because that's what I do. I am in charge of this house. I can wait for you to do it, but that'll take to long. Must be nice.

I told you I was being judgemental. To his defense, he did tell me (without any prompts from me) that he was sorry that he doesn't just think of things to do. Although I got bitchy and said "you didn't notice the dishes in the sink? did you think that maybe the dishwasher needed to be emptied and reloaded?" He said he would have figured it out...Of course that was 5 minutes before he was about to leave to go meet up with some friends. I did it though. Didn't really complain. I guess it's part my fault because I so easily made things this way. I don't let him touch the laundry, he doesn't shop for groceries (unless it's for something we need for dinner - he'll pick up stuff), and he doesn't clean. Like, he'll clean up but not clean. No chemicals.

So, after I was done being a brat, I watched tivo, and then decided time to go to the gym...I haven't been (really) since the cruise. Whoops! It's just so easy to find something else to do!

On the way home, I called my sister because I came up with a great idea for Mother's day. Yes I know it's a few days away. But we're late planners (well, I blame this on my indecisive sister). In my mom's garage (also she lives there), there's a huge box of photos that just are all mixed together. Some are in the envelopes from when they were developed, some are just thrown in there.

I said we should go to Walmart, get some cheap photo albums, maybe some cute pens (for captions when we get inspired by a funny photo) and then have that as a fun project on Sunday. My mom has always been meaning to put these photos in some sort of order, but (like the gym), there's always something better to do!

She said no. She said my mom wouldn't handle it. Give the woman some credit! Sure there have been better times in her life. But we're in the present day. We can't change what's currently going on. There might be some tears, but there will sure as hell be a lot of laughs too. I gotta work on her. Or buy the stuff, say "you lost" and just do it anyways. I'm great at that ;o) (being a pushy bitch sometimes).



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