What happened?

With the recent turn of events, and separate conversations with J, Shortie, and MJ, I wonder, how's everything changing so fast? How can I better prepare myself for all that's going on, when I don't have control over everything? If I indulge my thoughts and ponder on them long enough, and explore the emotions that correspond, what will the outcome be? Will it help? Will it make things worse? Can I do anything about it?

For most, no. Now that serious talks have emerged about the increasingly possible adoption with my dad and step-mom, it's a big deal. I'm 25, my dad's 51, and my stepmom is 48. Now throw a one year old in the mix. (Ok, side note, obviously I won't be involved in the day to day, but I'm speaking overall.) Imagine for a moment you're living your life, have a serious relationship, going to obtain your master's, and one (or both) your parents tell you they've decided they'd like to start all over.

Not exactly the type of news you'd like to hear. I met the little girl. She's adorable, perfect angel. But how will things be in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?? I don't want to get too caught up with the question "how will this change my life" because it's selfish. I'm old enough to be on my own. But there are some situations that will definately arise where there will be some internal dialouge occuring. Like the first time she says "dada." That's going to be hard.

I've never thought about all those type of situations. I guess I never thought it'd come up. I know they've wanted to adopt. I just thought by now, they'd have discarded it. In a few years, I'll have my own family, but try explaining how their aunt is only a few years older than them. We wouldn't be shy about the adoption. My dad has made that clear. But I know that they can provide a fabulous life for this little girl. Sure, it'll be different, and in some ways better, than what I grew up with. But I like what I had to go through. It's made me independent, determined, and self-sufficient. A lot more than I can say for others my age. Some are still struggling to "find themselves" and think that a baby, or marriage, or re-living their "college" years will get them to a better place. But it won't. If you haven't figured out the direction of your life by time you're 25, there's not that many years left to wake up and decide. Because maybe by time you find it, you're 35, or 40, and then what? Then you'll be in the same spot as my dad and step mom. Learning that one thing you possibly wanted in life isn't a possibility anymore.

But for now, I just have to wait and see what will happen with my life, and my family's life. This will impact all of us, but most importantly, hers.



blogger templates | Make Money Online