3 hour dinner.

Well, last night I went to dinner with a friend I haven't really seen since January. We ate, caught up, dished about boyfriends, friends, new things in our lives. All of a sudden, we realized almost 3 hours had passed when her boyfriend called her to say good night. We both said our goodbye's and headed home.

During dinner, one of the topics that came up was about breast augmentations. I swear almost every woman in this town has had one. Even teenagers and twenty-somethings. Ever since high school I always wanted one. Not for the reasons you might think. I know my reason affects many woman out there. I just am tired of dealing with it. J tells me it's not noticeable. I think it is. Then, on the cruise, a guy said "ya, I can tell." Thanks. I wasn't really upset, because he was just being honest. That's what I really wanted. So we both talked about it. Her reasons are slightly different than mine, but the end result would be the same.

In high school, I said I always wanted to get it done right away, like after college. Well, I graduated 3 years ago and I'm still the same. Back then, I never thought about getting the Lasik procedure done, but look at me now. I did it. I didn't save anything for it ahead of time. With using the flexible spending account offered through my employer, I'm taking a hit each month with a lowered net, but at least it's only for this year. By time Dec. 31st rolls around, all $3800 will be paid off.

But, unfortunately, you can't use an option like that for a cosmetic surgery. I wish. I could deal with another year of lowered paychecks and just putting the rest on a credit card. I really wish I could save up for it. But with rent, bills, car payments, student loans, and "fun" items, it's not easily accomplished. J and I talked about it last night, turned into a bit of a disaster...Not that bad, but more of a misunderstanding that resulted in my feelings being hurt. Mainly because I'm a girl, and it's that time of the month.

So, we talked about how he doesn't feel I need it (I told him it's more that I want it, and he can't understand how I feel about the insecurities). But, he was also asking how would I (we) pay for it because of how tight things are now, and how we want to get married, and we'd have to pay for it. Also bringing up the point that eventually we have to move to a bigger place, buy a place, all these things. I understand all his points. I know that there are other things that need money, but this is also something that I've wanted for almost 10 years. I get frustrated because my paychecks cover so much. And his don't. If his did, then it'd alleviate some funds, and allow me to save it for other things. It's just hard. and frustrating. That's all.